Swimming Pool. Week and a half.
When I move into my apartment next week, I’ll have a swimming pool almost directly behind my place.
I WILL BE SWIMMING EVERY FREAKING DAY AND IT WILL BE MARVELOUS.
I knew I liked her for some reason.
At my funeral when they’re lowering me into the ground i demand they play drop it like its hot
Sounds appropriate.
| BRITISH EMPIRE: | All right, fine, your stupid embargo worked. We won’t levy any more taxes- |
|---|---|
| AMERICAN COLONIES: | Huzzah! Time to get drunk! |
| BRITISH EMPIRE: | Except on tea. |
| AMERICAN COLONIES: | What? |
| BRITISH EMPIRE: | Get over it, it’s just tea. Seriously, where do you get this idea that you’re special and should never have to pay taxes? We hope that idea doesn’t go on to infect your political discourse centuries from now. |
| AMERICAN COLONIES: | We’re not buying your stupid tea. |
| BRITISH EMPIRE: | Are you being serious right now? What are you going to do, just stop drinking tea? |
| AMERICAN COLONIES: | Yes. We’ll drink coffee. |
| BRITISH EMPIRE: | Do you even know what that is? |
| AMERICAN COLONIES: | No, but we’ve heard it’s good and we’re feeling surly. |
| BRITISH EMPIRE: | Fine, whatever, we don’t even care what you do anymore. |
| BRITISH EAST INDIA COMPANY: | Actually, we are pretty much bankrupt, so you need to make them drink the tea. |
| BRITISH EMPIRE: | Oh, for—just drink the tea. |
| AMERICAN COLONIES: | No. |
| BRITISH EMPIRE: | Do it. |
| AMERICAN COLONIES: | NO. |
| BRITISH EMPIRE: | Drink it. |
| AMERICAN COLONIES: | Fuck you. |
| BRITISH EMPIRE: | Drink it or we’ll punch you in the face. |
| AMERICAN COLONIES: | *Boston Tea Party* |
| BRITISH EMPIRE: | What the hell? |
| AMERICAN COLONIES: | We heard it was Indians. |
| BRITISH EMPIRE: | That’s interesting, because we heard it was a bunch of colonists wearing paint and dressed in costumes that were remarkably similar to what a crowd of drunks who wanted to look like Indians would assemble if the only supplies they had were found in an alley behind a bar. |
| AMERICAN COLONIES: | You get all types in Boston. |
| BRITISH EMPIRE: | …*Coercive Acts* |
| AMERICAN COLONIES: | Oh, it is ON. |
Whoever says gay people shouldn’t have children, look at this picture and go fuck yourself.
how on earth is he holding her with just his hands like that
it’s the secret power of the gay
all homos can do that
I feel like it’s a sign of progress that I notice him holding her like that and not that it’s a gay couple.
(Source: moonchild30, via cuttlemesoftly)
